Tony Miltenberger is a husband, father, and follower of Christ. He is currently serving as the lead pastor at Restoration Church Centerville, ohio.

One Thing You Can Do to Change Your Relationship

I’ve made it no secret that my wife and I have what can sometimes be a volatile relationship. Volatile because we both value passionate discussion and we both love to speak to what we believe. That is part of our uniqueness as a couple and how we are wired as people. 

Sometimes that passion can be a little overwhelming, and sometimes it can create tension in our relationship that might even lead to a little resentment. One of our commitments that we made this year to battle that resentment was to stop and pray with each other every night (especially on the nights we don’t want to).

At first, this time of prayer was a little awkward and often felt like I was dragging my feet through quick sand. I was worried about how I would sound, or what Karen would think. Eventually with time and persistence, this evening ritual became something I looked forward to. Karen and I both have become champions of this daily practice, not just because of the impact of our relationship, but our relationship with God.  It is really hard to stay mad at someone when you are praying with and for them every night.

We are just over the six-month mark and I’m proud to say that this has created a huge shift in our relationship. A shift that says we are on our walk together, and with God’s grace we will be on that walk together forever. Praying together builds a foundation of commitment.

If you are ready to make a shift in your relationship this is what you need to know about praying with your spouse.

1.    Don’t overthink the prayer.  Keep it simple and talk to God with your heart. There is no format needed, just be honest.

2.    Hold your spouse’s hand. Intentional touch creates special intimacy.

3.    Pray for your own heart and pray for the heart of your spouse. Ask God to protect your family.

4.    Make it a priority before you fall asleep. If you make this a part of your daily schedule, you’re less likely to skip over this important discipline.

5.    Have both people pray out loud, it creates vulnerability and a chance to hear how the person you love the most talks to God.

At the end of the day the most important thing you can do is start the process. Praying together will radically change your relationship. Have the courage to be brave and pray.

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